What can we do when it’s NOT “all good”?

Have you heard the phrase, “It’s all good” when someone describes a tough situation? Even my beloved teacher Abraham-Hicks will often make that comment as part of a lesson, and I’ve found myself thinking, HOw can you say that? How can executions and genocide and destruction and even white collar crimes be “all good”?

I’ve written before about how it’s not only ok, but essential to find our own happiness no matter what is going on around us.  But that’s different from saying that a terrible situation is “all good.” Well this past week I went through an experience with my sisters, both of whom live far from me, that reminded me of another way to look at tough situations…an alternative to “it’s all good,” that I want to share with  you.

Mom and three sisters

Mom and three sisters

Clare and Loraine came by bus from Ithaca and New York City because my mother, who is 97 and suffers from Alzheimer’s, has just been entered into hospice care in her nursing home in Largo, MD, where I visit her weekly. She will most likely be with us for a while longer, but my sisters wanted to be sure they spent some time with her as soon as possible. When they got off the China Town bus and were getting their luggage, my youngest sister, Loraine, was approached by a man asking if she wanted help. She said, “No, thank you,” and when he insisted, she answered “No” more firmly, so he left. A few minutes later, as we were all standing in Starbucks after ordering a restorative frappuccino, Loraine realized that her wallet was missing! Her cash, her ID’s her return ticket, her medical insurance and ATM and debit cards…all gone! (We knew for sure it happened in DC, because an hour later, she got a call from her bank that someone tried to buy gas with her card in Logan Circle.)

Loraine was all at once furious, frightened and frustrated, as she realized her losses and what it would take to get everything restored. My other sister Clare and I were initially also quite upset as we contemplated what this would mean for the few precious days the three of us had together for this visit with my mom.  We tried to help her to calm down and begin to make the calls she needed to make. I was not at all tempted to say, “It’s all good.” (Loraine might have found it necessary to bop me one good if I tried!) But I did remember an alternative that I learned (and have had to re-learn many times over!) from my favorite Unity minister, George Stone, who, in his eighties, is still touring the country, sharing his wisdom. George says with great enthusiasm, “I can’t wait to see what good will come from this situation!”

I learned about George’s approach from a neighbor of his, a friend of mine who attends my Unity church. One day, George was home with his children, and his son had an accident and began bleeding profusely from his head. George ran next door to my friend, carrying his son, and dropping off the other children for my friend to watch over. As he was leaving, he called out, “I can’t wait to see what good will come from this situation! He was open to the many blessings that did come from his son’s accident and recovery. When I first heard that story, I decided that I wanted to bring that energy to any tough situations that I had to face. When I can remember, it is so much more doable for me than claiming, “All is good.”

So along with Clare (who is also a student of a spiritual approach to life) I did my best to bring the energy of that thought to the resolving of the pick-pocketing of my sister’s wallet.  I was able to say to Loraine, “THis sucks! I’m so sorry it happened. And I can’t wait to see what good will come as we work through it.” She was willing to hear that, and by the end of making the police report and phone calls and figuring out about replacing the cash (all three of us are still at the early stages of welcoming abundance into our lives!) we realized what the good was: for the first time in many years of living hundreds of miles apart, the three of us worked together to solve a big problem. Clare and I were supportive and patient, and Loraine slowly began to “trust the process.” For example, she didn’t quite believe the officer that if she just showed the police report to the bus company, they would replace her return ticket and she wouldn’t be out the $23. But the young man at the tiny desk in the below-ground office smiled his regret for her loss, and wrote up the bus pass with no resistance at all! And twice I heard her say on the phone, “My sisters really came through for me.”

The next few months are going to be a challenge for me. I’m still the only sister who lives nearby Mom’s nursing home, and I’m still the primary family member for all the care that Mom continues to need. But now I feel much closer to my sisters, much more connected, and much less alone on this journey of my Mom’s transition. And I can’t wait to see what other good will come from this situation!

Much love and many blessings!

TerrySig2

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6 thoughts on “What can we do when it’s NOT “all good”?

  1. I am so sorry your sister had her wallet stolen…

    But I wanted to say something that came to mind when I read about how can it all be good when there are executions, genocide and even while collar crime? Steven Covey (in the Seven Habits of Highly Successful People) speaks of our “areas of influence”.
    There are areas where we do have influence (if the clutter on the dining room table is still there, that is something I can control; it is within my area of influence; but genocide somewhere in the world is not.) He advises concentrating on the areas I can control and letting the ones I can’t go.

    Beth Leanza

  2. How wonderful that you & your Sisters got to be together through “what good came of this”! My Mom’s passing let all four of my siblings re-group, if only temp., but very meaningfully. ❤

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